Features and blogging

• In 2019 I wanted to get a tattoo done for my 50th birthday, but several people told me it sounded like I was having a mid-life crisis. They were key people and I could see what they meant, so I parked the idea.

• Earlier this year, our son Jonah mentioned he'd like a tattoo. I mean, he wants lots of things, like a chest of money in his bedroom and regular trips to Zante with all his friends, so I wasn’t really listening. And Mr L had been on the 2019 NO list, so it was a flat thumbs-down from him.

• This summer, on a packed Delta flight somewhere above Atlanta, J was chatting to me about his pre-uni bucket list and floated the idea again, along with a request for a pen and paper. I gave him a biro and a sick bag and he jotted down a few lines of text and a small sketch. The drawing was a bird with long tail feathers; the wording was based around things like recovery, strength, fortitude and luck. J said he wanted to illustrate his path to wellness after a couple of dark years when we moved back from Singapore. I said I thought the bird looked like a phoenix, and told him that the phoenix denoted all of the above. Didn’t this mythical creature also hark back to his Chinese and Malaysian roots? Without realising it, I said, he’d come up with the perfect symbol. It all seemed like a cracking idea. Well, that’s the sort of thing you say after a couple of strong in-flight G&Ts.

• Back down on the ground and sober, I once more forgot about the idea until J put in his biggest bucket list request: a trip to a tattoo parlour with me. Hadn’t I always wanted one? Incredulous eyebrows from Mr L, foot-shuffle from me. Nevertheless, off he went and did some proper research. Before I could say “oh alright then” he’d worked on the design, found a shop and talked it through with friends. I warmed more to the idea and Mr L took it seriously at last, once he saw how much thought his son had put in. And that’s how me and my boy came to be lying on plastic-wrapped benches in deepest Hackney yesterday morning, each sweating slightly under the buzz of a tiny inky needle.

The artists at the shop Jonah found are highly trained inkers, and they’ll take your idea and sketch it out in beautiful geometric detail. J’s phoenix is glorious, elegant, slightly shaded, draped. As for me, I chose a line drawing of a small monkey. That’s how I referred to Jonah while writing my travel blog Partly Cloudy. Monkeys were dotted throughout our time in south-east Asia. We saw them hanging out in the jungly bits of Singapore, skittering across the hot sands of Malaysia, heckling the tourists in Bali and beyond. So monkeys = travel + freedom. Most importantly, it will be good to always have a Small Monkey on my arm

It’s the morning after the needling as I write this and my monkey is less red than it was yesterday. I went to bed feeling claustrophobic about what I’d done. Truth be told, mine was a little bigger than I planned and after our triumphantly fun morning I had a few breathe-into-a-bag moments and several strong cups of tea before bed. I always felt a bit like this with new cats. There’s a cloying panic to the sudden permanence from which you can’t escape. Ah well, too bad, says my calm voice, shoulda thought of that. Anyway, look at your arm, it’s beautiful! (this is what it’s like to be Gemini, by the way, exhausting).

As for our Small Monkey, he is elated, proud, possibly hooked. While I probably won’t get any more (perhaps a bit more detail on my existing one when I feel ready), I can see J coming back from uni with several. Maybe a Cornish pasty and the Tyne bridge to balance out his ethnicity?

I’ve never set out to be a cool mum and I don’t pretend that J is my best friend. He’s not, he’s my son and we squabble and bicker as much as we hug and joke. But I love my SM with all my heart, I’ll miss him, and I was more than happy to do this to celebrate the path he’s been on, the work we’ve all done together, and all the good things in store. And now we’ll always have… um… Hackney, I guess.

Next on the bucket list? A much simpler meal at our favourite restaurant and a road trip to Nottingham.
And drinks for the next flight? Just a tea for me, thanks.

NOTES
• It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’re planning on getting a tattoo, it’s super important to thoroughly research your store and check the reviews. Jonah spent a very long time finding ours. When I went to the Insta page I saw that one of the followers was a very cool ex-colleague of mine: big tick-mark.
• Our artists at Vagabond Tattoo (Leti for Jonah, Alex for me) were fully registered, brilliant, kind and clever, and the whole place was spotless, light, airy and fun. We felt very safe under their needles.
• Check the FAQs and follow the rules. Eat before you go. Bring water. Relax. If you’re going out the night before, like Jonah did, try and stick to two pints, which he did. Amazingly.
• Send in an idea that’s as close to your wishes as possible. Jonah’s was – and is – perfect. My monkey is exactly what I sent in. A place that’s as brilliant as ours will recreate your image perfectly, and I’m falling more and more in love with mine by the minute.