January

February 1st at last, and the chatter is all “thank goodness!” and '“finally!”
While most of you are flushing January down the toilet, I’d like to put in a vote for this arctic yak of a month, a real beast of burden. Do you realise what January has to deal with? January carries the woes of all those who have, quite frankly, eaten too much over Christmas, fallen off the runner, are not prepared for tax day, don’t want to get out of bed after the holidays. Is any of that January’s fault? No.
If February was the first month, it’d be February who got it in the neck. By March we’ve forgotten January and we’re booking up July. And then it’s Christmas, and then January gets the dirty treatment all over again [repeat to fade]. But if we didn’t have January, then February would be laughing on the other side of its face. And if we’re naming and shaming dates, then the Romans would hate March (Martius), their first month. Plenty of other cultures have a first month but none of them get labelled and put in the stocks.
OK, so you hate January, we can’t fix that. But why make it a thousand times worse by shackling yourself to resolutions, only to break them and feel angry again? And Dry January only compacts the pain. Why limit your intake simply because “it’s January”? Hop on a health regime by all means. Mine is called “Ate Too Much” and it doesn’t just happen in January, but for every month during which I have overeaten. I employ the “No Thank You” regime in April, June and October (and, yes, January), but I don’t blame any of those months, I blame my appetite.
Today’s glorious sunny dawn (see pic) draws an unfair comparison between the first and second months of 2024, as February busts in with a massive yellow gong in the sky. And therein lies the truth of the matter. It’s the sun we’re angry with, not the date. We have been in the dark since mid-November, and all through December, and actually February is usually not the brightest. January often has sunny days, yet no one credits January with them, does it?
Am I drifting? I think about this every year, the louder the radio gets with #JanuaryHate. I admit my lack of grudge is probably because the month contains birthdays for several very special people. So maybe I’d hate January too if I didn’t celebrate two best friends, one gorgeous neighbour, both of my late mothers, my one and only son, and countless other January babies trailing cake crumbs across my diary.
My celebrations go on until January 29 but years ago they only lasted until the 4th, my mum’s birthday. She always said: ‘It’s great, because just when everyone else’s Christmas is over, I get a special day to myself!’ That cheered everyone up for the whole month.
So maybe just pretend there’s a birthday in there somewhere. As for you, February, you come with a lot of promise, so let’s be having it.